my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
