sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
