I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize