I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
