fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
