Well douche your snatch and let's go!
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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