It was confusing and full of hummus
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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