My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
