No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
