How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
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My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
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I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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