I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
So apparently I’m into choking now
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize