kristin has been a bad kristin
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
