her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!