I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
27 Hairstyles That Always Come With A Matching Personality
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?