Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?