I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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