It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
