no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
