I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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