Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
