I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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