I didn't shave. On purpose
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
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