I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
