Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
