I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
