Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
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I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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