You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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