its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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