How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
