eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
