Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
