Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
