just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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