just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
