Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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