Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
