Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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