a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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