How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize