You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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