Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
