I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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