we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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