Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
