I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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