Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
