so explain again why im purple
no
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
