my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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