I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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