I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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