It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I got her a Nickelback box set.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I am one with the molecules
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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