Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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