you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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