Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
