a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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