Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
