i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
