No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
