i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
