Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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