i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
