You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
So much rum. So many feels.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Randomize
