Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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