Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize