SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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