Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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